Attack of the Killer Bee... My Killer Finds Me?

I once had a dream that I was brutally murder by a swarm of killer bees carrying katana blades. Since then I made it my civic duty to stay as far away from any type of bee to insure that the pre-determined destiny that awaited me was avoided. Happily, I can boast that because of this dream I have never been stung by a bee or ran across a bee carrying a katana (if I ever do I will be sure to inform the discovery channel or maybe a shrink).

This phobiatic introduction is important to the overall story. If I left it out the impact of the event would lessen and you the reader would feel less satisfied.

One night in the house we decided to prepare to shoot a promo video for the 2010 step expo (make sure you attend). As I prepared the lighting something unexpected happened. Certain insects were attached to the light and rushed toward the windows.

Now our house is old. I mean real old. Over time this historic home was remodeled, but lost many of these upgrades as time progressed. One such upgrade was the screens for the windows (spoiler alert).

Anyway, back to the story. The light attracted one particular large hornet who rushed to the window above our old school air conditioner unit. I was surprised to see him, but happy to see that he was on the outside of the window. Then one of the resident’s ask a simple question that would put me closer to that historic, nightmarish murder dream.

“He can’t get in here can he?”

I confidently boasted a “hell no” but then on close examination of the window realized that the top of the window actually left a crack open that he might be able to use.

“Oh (explicit word) he can get in” I shouted.

Almost as if he heard my response the hornet gazed into my eyes and began to climb toward the open crack in the window.

Manish/womanish like screams of horror sprung from my throat. Immediately, I struck the window attempting to scare him off. However, this only angered my killer who used his rage to climb fast. Running out of ideas I grabbed a near by cup and hope to catch him in it (not sure what I would do if I did). I then shouted for my fellow resident to get me something to attack back. Someone was going to die that night and it would not be me.

As the resident handed me a weapon (a shoe) I positioned the cup to catch the hornet. However, I missed him. He rushed into the room and went straight for me. My life flashed before my eyes.

Now I am not a girlie man inn any sense of the word (I did cry at the beginning of Up, When I see a baby I make the “aawww” sound, and I have been told my voice is similar to Mickey Mouse on helium), but I must admit that a girlish scream echoed out my mouth when I avoided his attack. I rushed out the room with my roommate following close behind me. When the bee was finally slain I examined him to find that he had no katana. I guess he wasn’t my pre-destined killer, but he sure did look like him. I mean they all look alike to me.