Mad, Insane, and Erratic are synonyms for the colorful word CRAZY, which is the only available word that exists in the vast reaches of my vocabulary that properly defines the situation I will articulate to “you” the reader. The online definition of the word “crazy” as pertains to an individual is as follows… “Deranged and possibly dangerous.” It is important to commence with this definition or everything that follows may seem as erratic as the behavior of the antagonist within this piece, but let me stop before I get ahead of myself and return to the story itself.
On that particular night we (the residents of the house) decided to throw a surprise get together for a close personal friend of ours.
However, that is all I will mention about the party. I will not divulge further into that particular night solely because the party has the capability to spawn itself into its own story, but for the purpose of this particular story pertaining to the definition of “crazy” the party story will serve solely as the backdrop.
Anyway, the party was exciting, it was fun, it was full of alcohol, it was full of tears and emotional outburst, and most of all it was an invite only event. With that in mind I graciously invited my sister and her friend (neither had visit the house before hand) to attend the get together. Unfortunately, my sister was unable to get to the party until later on, which was fine. The night pressed on without her for some time and alcohol began to affect everyone in the party. By the time she arrived at the house a majority of the party, as expected, including myself, were too intoxicated to articulate or function as members of society. Surprisingly, my close personal friend was sober and functioning, which helped because by the time my sister arrived I was half naked sprawled out in my bed unable to respond to any of my sister’s phone calls that requested directions and an escort to the house. So in turn she had to contact my friend for help. Now that the setting is painted this is where the story actually begins.
Wait, good reader I forgot an important aspect to the setting that if I neglect to relate the story in itself will lose its impact. The house we live in is draped in darkness. Not the average shadows but swallowed by unyielding black night duly because of the lack of proper lighting. The closest streetlight only extends to the far end of the drive way, which leaves every other portion of the house un-light (our porch light is left off because it attracts massive prehistoric creatures, again another story). With that mental picture let us return to the story.
My friend heads out the house into the darkness to retrieve my sister and her friend. They meet at the edge of drive way where the street light and darkness meet and cordially discuss life for a little while. During this conversational period a shadow out the dark began to approach them.
Now this shadow did not just approach as a slither or a slump but as a deliberate destructive darting moving toward the conversing group as if ready to attack. At first glance the group thought possibly it was a member of the party who arrived late swiftly moving toward them to talk with group, but after several calls of the supposed individual’s name were denied by the shadow the group suspicions began to rise. Is it an angry neighbor, a madman, a killer, a wolf man, a ghost, an undead former dancer from the thrill video (probably not the last one RIP MJ)? The shadow strutted toward the group and finally stopped directly in front of them.
My friend realized that my sister, her friend, and he could be in trouble. He decided to be the “strong,” “commanding” “man” he believed himself to be and stepped forward to protect the women. However, before he could get a question out his mouth the long haired middle aged man commanded my friend to…
“STAND DOWN”
...
Unsure how to answer my friend looked for clarification on what the stranger stated, meanwhile my sister wisely moved toward the house leaving my friend by himself with this individual.
“What did you say?” asked my friend.
“STAND DOWN SOLDIER!” replied the stranger.
Again silence was the only proper response.
“STAND DOWN SOLDIER,” shouted the stranger. “I AM A NAVEL OFFICER FOR THE UNITED STATES NAVY AND I ORDER YOU TO STAND DOWN”
Now I must add at this point that the individual did not have any type of officer/military identification on him to verify his supposed status.
Returning to the story my friend was completely confused by the response that all he could say was simply….
“But I’m not a soldier.”
In the response to this the individual turns and storms off in similar fashion as he approached straight into the darkness. My friend was left in the darkness confused and disturbed. The only phrase he could later use when relaying the story to me to sum up the experience was…
“That guy was CRAZY”
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